E1 Day 1 – hiking and thinking

4. Mai 2018

Krusau to shelter near Hojagervej

About 25 km

Everything aches. I think I’ve already done too much… but it feels good to be on the trail again!

After a relaxing night at Marlis place in Flensburg (found through AirBnb) I hopped on the bus to Krusau in Denmark. 15 minutes later I stood in front of an ATM and got my first Danish Kronen. I was all set. My head was filled with grief though. Memories of my time in Central America gave me a hard time. Why has it happened that way?

Rolling these thoughts back and forth I hit the trail. The E1 follows the local trail “Gendarmstien” for a while and afterwards the Hervejen – a 200 Kilometer long trail from Germany to Denmark.

It was a bright and sunny day and after an initial morning cold the air warmed and I could drop a layer. Light green and white blooming trees and spring flowers lined my way. It was a beautiful day for a hike!

Unfortunately my thoughts lingered around Brad and what I had to go through. We had so many good moments – why was it not worth anything?

I felt lost and lonely. I missed the man I once wanted to be my companion in life. We once talked and promised to be each other’s best friends. Only empty words?! During the last weeks I thought a lot about what happened and more and more moments, sentences, things done came to my mind that were strange. I should have realized much earlier that something is totally wrong.

And here I am. Hiking through Denmark and trying to forget. Because same as with computers you cannot delete memories – you have to overwrite them. That’s what I’m doing now. Overwriting the past year with new memories. Will I be successful? I don’t know. Right now I feel in the wrong place no matter what I do. My heart is broken and I have a lump in my throat thinking about the partner I have lost. Do you know how it feels like when every little thing reminds you of someone you’d better forget? In my head I know that this partner I miss might have never been the person I loved and many lies were involved, it doesn’t make it better or easier in any way.

But back to hiking… I am in Denmark for the first time and it looks a lot like Germany, especially northern Germany. It’s fairly flat and the landscape today was dominated by agriculture. Huge farm houses standing in the middle of their huge fields. I had the full experience passing by some cow and pig sheds – including the smell. Looking at the huge green fields and the boxed animals in the shed I had to think how silly human beings are. How did someone ever have the idea to keep animals indoors instead of outdoors?

It was already late afternoon and I was hiking without a big break since 10 in the morning. It was time to look for a place to stay. I went past a “Herberg” and rang the bell. The couple who opened the door told me that they are still closed and open mid May. But they would set up a bed for me. I asked for the price. 200 Kronen. Are there any options for camping nearby? I decided to keep going. The nice couple topped up my water – enough to camp – and off I went.

It turned out to be a long way to my final destination for tonight which is next to a pilgrim shelter and some benches. Everything aches. I must have hiked more than 25 km. And that’s my first day! I shouldn’t start a long hike like that. Tomorrow I will take it more easy…